Self Help and Thoughts on my own FP

The other day I was having a frustrating time trying to find something to wear. My hubs wanted to take me out to dinner and I stood looking at my closet full of clothes and thinking "I hate every single item of clothing I own" I even had that as my Facebook status. Of course I got comments on it and one of my cousins wife's told me about another self help book called Dressing your truth, my sister had told me about it days before as well as one called Its just my nature, so it looks as if I am falling into a self help book marathon. 
I have already purchased them both on my Kindle and will be reading them as soon as I am finished with Skinny Thinking. 
As I have been reading Skinny Thinking, I am answering the questions in my head and already implementing some of the tools of the book. Today I went to eat the rest of my sons half eaten breakfast, and thought, "Why are you going to eat this? You are not hungry. Why do you want it?" and the answer was, I didn't want it to go to waste. So, I opted not to eat it and I put it the garbage. Yes, I HATE wasting food. I hate buying food. I especially HATE leftovers, so, I often finish Patrick's food which leads to obvious over eating. So, that has stopped as of today. If he doesn't finish it, it goes in the fridge, if he doesn't finish it later, it goes in the garbage. The End. 
So as I am reading this book, the Author started by talking about her binge problems, which I have already opened up about, and then she talked about how growing up, her mom was thin, she didn't remember her really eating a lot, and she would never partake in the treats and snacks that so often she fed to her kids. It made me think of my sweet grandma. She gets so much pleasure by feeding other people, living vicariously through their eating, and eating very little of it herself. The Authors mom did the same. In my family, when we get together, there is food, A LOT, of food. We eat often because we feel it truly offends my grandmother if we don't. Those traditions have transferred into my moms habits as well. We get together for Easter, and there is food and A LOT of it. We get together for Christmas, there is again SO MUCH FOOD. And obviously we partake in the binge of the holiday. 
I find it to be very aggravating. 
I was so hurt when Tripp brought to my attention my own FP. I think that it hurt me so badly because I knew my own FP. I knew that the way I was raised, my family habits, my family genes can lead to people having weight issues. No one wants their own worst fears being brought to their attention. 
I do not blame Tripp for his fears and concerns,and it was not until today that I realized why it hurt me so badly. 
My goal is to raise my kids with better habits and break the trend. 
I am tired of living my life hating my body, hating the clothes that cover it, not because I have ugly clothes, because I do not. I shop like there is no tomorrow sometimes and I wear things once or twice and then never again. Not because of the clothes. BUT because of my body. 
Today, I cheated and decided to start my running again. I will follow the doctors orders and only start with 10 min every other day and so on until I am built back up. I have not had pain for a few weeks now, and I just cant put it off another 2 weeks. 
I followed 10 min run with 10 min of Kettle Ball and then 30 min of Pilates. 
I am feeling good. On a side note, on day 14 of Arbonne you have to start drinking a colon cleanse drink for 7 days. Today I started it. It tastes like Acia berry juice. Not good, not bad. We shall see how it works. Anyone who knows me knows how I will hate this week. HaHa. Whateves.